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This is awesome. I beat my goal by 100 points vs last week. #micdrop #choosehappiness #thankyoujesus #weightlossjourney #abouttime
Sounds good to me. In this ugly society of school shootings our hearts ache for those who had their entire lives blown apart Friday morning. As much as I feel that society is living through the book of revelations shows me more than ever that I need to be square with God and Christ. #thankful #christian #imgay #choosehappiness #choosewisely
#woah that’s me. #mindovermatter our own mirrors are cruel. To the outside world we shine bright. #choosehappiness #weightwatchers #weightloss #healthy
Yes 100%. Trust Jesus and anything is possible. #choosehappiness #liveyourbestlife #peaceful #mylife❤️
Emotionally draining week. #omg #seriously despite #depression and a small #meltdown on WW connect @av8r007 and got it all on 🎥. Went back and watched it and it inspired me to keep moving forward. I’ve worked too hard in my life to slow down now. #watchmego #weightwatchers #wwfreestyle #wwflex #athlete #wwbros #choosehappiness
Sooo freakin exhausted but I did it!! @rochellefitnessdance Glutes of Most Resistance. No kidding! That was awesome! 520 cal burn 30 min. #omg #aaptiv #weightwatchers #beastmode #cardioqueen
#youbetcha #thankyoujesus #inspireme #mentalhealthawareness #choosehappiness
#thankyoujesus following my dreams and letting my holy God lead the way. #liveyourbestlife #happy #transformation
I love food! I love carbs. I always have. I was never he skinny kid. I was a depressed kid. I ate my feelings. I still have depression, but it doesn’t control my life anymore. Jesus and Weight Watchers do! Plus I’m gay. Who knew? #thankyoujesus #weightlossjourney #instagay #weightwatchers #hopeful #weighin #icandoanything #jesustakethewheel
#ohwait that’s me! #weightlosstransformation #weightwatchers
Focus #mindfulness #thankful #compassion #jesus #transformation
We’ve got this. Judy said so. 👠
Not forgetting where I’m from. Just being the best version of me daily. Choosing happiness over anything else. Never give up on what you want to achieve. #believe #joy #weightlossjourney #flexfriday #beamazing
Hey everyone! Beautiful day and another no rain Friday! #feelinggood #spaceneedle #seattle #weightwatchers
Off to #therapy gonna do some #soulsearching and show my #therapist that for once in my life I’m in total control and the fact that I’ve achieved happiness is proud moments. #growup #instagood #instagay #sunny

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The sun is shining, and my depression is gone. I haven’t felt an episode since the breakup which is a further sign that everything is working out the way it’s supposed to. I have zero regrets over the last five years of my relationship or the adventures that my ex and I traveled. We toured the world because we were friends. Friendship is the outline of any successful relationship, and we had that covered from day one which I think made the split easier to deal with because I knew I could fall back on my friendship with Colby and know that everything continued going to be okay. Even if we didn’t have Denali, it still wouldn’t have changed anything.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and I feel confident in knowing that Colby and I will have a great friendship and that our dog Denali will have a fantastic life because I’m still going to be there for him just as he was there for me through all the tears of breaking up. Dogs are incredibly sensitive to our emotions, and as hard as it is to no longer live with Denali I have his photo up in my crash pad, and I am finding dog fur on the floor already. See. The gift of owning dogs. Their coat goes everywhere you go.
Being single now, and sober I am determined and focused as ever on my continued journey towards health, happiness, AND sobriety. Just because I’m on my own will never give me a reason to run out for a drink, or bring a bottle home and cozy up on the couch and watch reruns of Will & Grace. Yeah no. That is not who I am, and that is not my life anymore. I’ll wait for the Will & Grace no problem however my beverage will be of water substance with zero alcohol in it. No thank you. Alcohol fucks me up. I don’t like to be fucked up. I love being in control of myself and my emotions.
I’ve continued to take the Burns Depression checklist every week (even though my therapist is on holiday for 2wks) I have kept tracking my progress, and I am in the single digits right now for depression management! I scored a seven as my total score out of 50, and the result was ‘Normal, and not depressed.’ HA… Normal. I’m anything but normal. A 7 is outstanding; I’ll take it.

Why do I feel so happy? I have no roadblocks in my way anymore. By the way, before you think it is my ex that was my roadblock that is not the case. The dam was my doubt that I could live a life and supply my happiness without having to rely on another individual to get me through life. Like I said. No regrets! I just realized that I’m about to turn 33 in a week and I wanted more in life. I’ve never had a 2nd relationship. Other than flyboy. But flyboy will always have a special place in my heart. Flyboy and Mark had a short-lived, but our memories last a lifetime

This post is scattered, but that doesn’t matter because I’m writing my thoughts out and allowing the power of moving ideas out of my mind lets me release the Kraken of anxiety and unleash the real beast inside. The athletic, bipolar, self-sustaining happiness, SOBER, fun loving guy.

 

 

6 comments on “This is the life I’ve waited for.

  1. Rachel says:

    This was a great read Mark! I’m glad to see you so happy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is awesome that you are feeling better!

    Like

  3. ashleyleia says:

    You’ve handled the breakup amazingly well. It takes a lot of emotional maturity to remain friends with an ex.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you friend. I love my dog and I want to be able to see my dog freely. I hope it stays this way.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Katherine says:

    You inspire me. I also suffer from bipolar disorder. But your videos and post on connect as well as this forum help a great deal.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Katherine, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am so glad that you have found me here and that I can provide you support. We are truly better together and we can accomplish anything we put our minds to.

      Like

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