Moving on

It’s been a really hard week. I’m waiting right now to see my therapist finally so I can walk through my emotions about the breakup and hopefully destroy the depression that lurks in my soul when I feel my most vulnerable.

I think of the last five years of my life and I see nothing but happy memories. We traveled a lot between Mexico, Europe, Nebraska… we saw it all. I’m going to miss his crazy yet adorable family and all of the kids and cousins that I’ve gotten to know so well over the last five years.

My heart is absolutely sunk. I haven’t been on social media lately because I just don’t want to deal with the social pressure of a breakup. Facebook is polluted anyways with stupid news and pictures of people drinking. Yeah. No thanks. I’m a recovering alcoholic who is about to celebrate 12 months of sobriety! Hellooooo Amazing!! Right?

The hardest part about right now.. this minute is processing the emotions that run through my head. I often will find myself in coulda, woulda conversation with myself until I quickly realize there is no point in regrets because if you regret something it holds you back from setting your self free. I absolutely love my ex for how he is inside and what he does with his life.

I hope we can at least have a successful friendship. It looks like I’m going to try and move out within 2 weeks. I hope. Totally depends on what kind of housing I find. I’m looking towards a house share again. I like living with professionals like myself. I feel good I’m doing like this. I’m just really sad about the entire thing. I wish it didn’t end like this, but in reality it’s ending the way it’s suppose to.

I have no regrets abou this relationship. I met him when I was 27 and we broke up when I was 33. I grew up in that relationship and I learned a LOT about myself.

Journey on. My life is waiting for me.

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